Five Things

A friend in our circle recently asked if we could come up with "five things you wished someone would've told you before you were shot from a cannon out into the real world". These were my responses:

1. Your peers will hand you everything you need to get ahead in a career; just listen to what they complain about (or fear) and act heroically. Nearly every innovation, process improvement, and subsequent promotion I've enjoyed came from running towards a fire everyone else was running away from. There's little competition in solving hard problems, and taking the initiative to even try is great material for your performance review.

 2. Finding a companion should be viewed less like handing someone a delicate egg and hoping they don't break it, and more like inviting them along for a long morning jog.  That is- there's no real bond to be formed if you immediately outpace them, or if they immediately outpace you. Piggy-back rides are cute precursors to long term resentment, while real, healthy love comes from a jogging partner that has a natural pace equal to yours. And true love? That soulmate shit everyone desires? That's when you jog beside someone who makes it feel like you aren't jogging at all and cultivates a positive feedback loop that improves your pace. (And vice-versa- You should be providing these same boosting benefits for them!)

 3. In all failures, no matter the magnitude, rip the Band-Aid off quickly and face the consequences with an explicit plan for correction. In nearly every situation, the loss felt now will always be less than the sum of the situation plus the delay in avoiding it, or worse, any extra steps taken to try to hide it. Don't be afraid of failure. Failing (with a plan to resolve) cultivates a resilient mind that embraces adaptation and suffers less the trappings of anxiety, regret, and embarrassment.

 4. The world is 95% NPCs. Your first goal should be to strive to become one of the 5% active PCs. Your second goal should be to surround yourself with the other 5%. What's an NPC? A scripted individual with no real actionable dreams, and nothing of unique intellectual or spiritual value to add to the mix. While there's nothing inherently "bad" about being an NPC, if you want the most content-rich experience moving through this reality, then seek and seek-to-be interesting, dynamic, helpful, and adventurous.

 5. Limit, to the greatest of your ability, the number of capabilities you outsource to others. Learn how to build stuff before you buy them (where feasible). Learn how to perform basic maintenance and troubleshooting on your vehicles and appliances before just sending them in. Learn how to properly cook (not just reheat). Decide what your own first response is in the event of an emergency rather than assuming 911 is the best you can do. People will say that there's just not enough time in the day to "learn all the things", and that preparedness is wasted in a modern information and consumer age. This is a myth, but assuming it’s true, the things you elect to outsource should be inversely related to the risks & consequences of that dependency being severed.  In the extreme, it’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.